A priest is snoozing in the confessional one day, and he hears an excited tapping on the other side of the screen.
He slides it open, and just hears excited breathing.
The guy on the other side says, “Father… I’m 82 years old. Last night I had sex all night with the hottest pair of 20-year-old twins you’ve ever seen!”
The priest is shocked, “That’s… that’s terrible!”
The guy said, “Noooo, it was wonderful!”
“But aren’t you sorry?”
“No, I’m going to do it again tonight!”
The priest thinks a moment, and then says darkly, “I can’t offer you absolution if you don’t repent.”
“I don’t need absolution! I’m not even Catholic! I’m Jewish!”
Confused, the priest says, “Well then, why are you telling me?“
“I’M TELLING EVERYBODY!”