A woman says to her husband, “You know, I think I might be pregnant.”
He says “Well, you’d better call the surgery and see what they say.” So she goes and picks up the phone and talks for a while, then she comes back and says, “They made an appointment and said I should bring a specimen with me. I didn’t like to say I don’t know what they meant.”
The husband says, “I don’t know either, but Mrs Higgins has had five children, so she must know about that kind of thing,” and off goes the wife. When she comes back she has scratches all over her face, a nosebleed and a fat lip, the beginnings of a tremendous black eye, and a handful of hair less than she started out with.
“Good God, woman, whatever have you been doing?” exclaims the husband.
“It wasn’t my fault, as God’s my judge,” the wife replies. “I went and asked the Higgins woman, as nice as you like, ‘Mrs Higgins, what do the surgery mean when they say to bring in a specimen?’. She said ‘Piss in a bottle,’ so I said, ‘Oh well, in that case, shit in your handbag, Mrs Higgins!’ and things went downhill from there.”
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